Date night has not always been a priority for James and I.
We always hear how it’s so important and how it’s a good thing to do. But honestly what does that even mean? Parsley is a good thing too. Doesn’t mean that I eat it.
When something doesn't come naturally sometimes it takes a little more coaxing than a simple “it's good” to get me convicted that I've got to make some time and really do it. So here in this blog post I've pulled together a list of 7 real reasons that I know have convinced me that making date nights a more regular habit is really going to benefit our marriage.
(Disclaimer: Although in this post I reference date nights being out of the house, obviously some date nights may still be at home. This makes it all of this a tiny bit more challenging but if you make sure you're being intentional about your date nights and making sure the time you spend together is quality time then you'll be right as rain!)
Date Nights ….
Make You Feel Important!
It really does. When James take time out of his week to spend some solid one on one time with me it makes me feel super special. On date nights our attention is on each other and that is such a cool feeling knowing that he isn't being distracted by this that and the other thing. I think this would be even more of a problem if we had kids. Kids require a lot of attention, a lot of the time. So making some focused time where all your energy and attention is just on each other makes you and your husband feel really special and important.
Obviously date nights are fun!
Date nights don’t happen everyday. They are a novelty and a chance to do fun, stimulating activities together with your best friend. Date nights (or days) can be anything you like! You can come up with all sorts of exciting activities for you to do together. You could even have a date night where you plan other ideas for date nights! Think about you as a couple. What are the types of things you are interested in? Come up with some neat plans that you're really excited to do.
Spending quality time together on date night will obviously connect you. Having these shared experiences and building memories together is so important. Having these one on one times is really impactful when tough times come along in your marriage. If you've spent time beforehand building your connection with each other it makes it a lot easier to stay connected and work together when things are rough.
Help You See Them In A New Environment
Sometimes getting out of the house and into a new environment with your spouse can be so beneficial. It's so easy to get stuck in the day to day only seeing the same flaws over and over again that your husband has.
Maybe he doesn't help out at home enough. Maybe he spends too much time on the PlayStation. Maybe he makes a huge mess every time he makes himself a snack. Maybe he leaves his dirty socks on the floor when you've asked him a million times to put them in the laundry hamper.
Sometimes we get really bogged down with all these mundane things and it's hard to see passed them.
Well I can tell you going out on a date night can be really helpful for this. Going out somewhere interesting helps you see them in a whole different light. You might see that they're actually really funny. Or romantic. Or charming. He might be very gentlemanly. Maybe he is actually really interesting to listen to or really good at listening to you.
Being out of your day to day environment can really help you see them in a different way and can revive some of that old spark which is so easy to lose in our average daily lives.
Give You Some Relaxation Time
Heading out of the house to do something fun can be so relaxing! This doesn't mean you have to go to a spa and get couples massages (although that does sound amazing right now). Even if you're a total adrenaline junkie and you're going out to do something super intense!
Like I've said before, date nights get you out of your normal. All your day to day stresses can be put aside for a time to have fun with your spouse.
Leaving your worries at home for a night to do something interesting can be a great way to de-stress and relax.
Open Up Communication
Date nights are wonderful communication paradises. When it's just the two of you out together you have no one else really to talk to but each other. There are no other distractions like cooking dinner, watching TV, checking Facebook or anything like that. It's one on one. All the attention is on the other person and it's such a great time to chat, share hopes and dreams, express feelings and have a meaningful conversation.
Bring Back The Romance!
Going out on a date brings back the romance. It may inspire you to spend a little extra time on your hair and makeup. He might put in the effort to look a little more dressed up for you. I often find that on dates we are more flirty and complementary to each other. We hold hands and cuddle. All of these things make us feel a little bit more mushy and gooey about each other.
Even if you're in a really wonderful relationship which feels totally hunky dory and amazing without regular date nights I still cannot tell you enough how much I think you should start them up. Marriages will inevitably go through trickier times. Having built up a solid foundation of regular quality time together, open communication, fun and connection you’ll be able to weather any stormy patches that are thrown at your relationship.
How often do you and your husband have date nights? How do date nights help your marriage?